PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER

ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION  LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT

Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir:

I’m  in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How  is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I  bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal  Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For  Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?

My  birth date you have in my social security file. It’s on EVERY income tax form  I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It’s on my Medicare health insurance card and  my driver’s license, it’s  on the last eight damn passports I’ve had, it’s  on every stupid customs declaration form I’ve had to fill out before being  allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it’s on all those census forms  that we have to do at election times.

Would somebody please take note,  once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert  and I’m reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now  and when I die.

Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bureaucratic  bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for
my  #*&#%*& address.

What is going on? You must have a gang of  bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!

Look at my damn picture.  Do I look like Bin Laden? And “No,” I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for  shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would  someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a  farm in the next 15 days?

If I ever got the urge to do something weird to  a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell  anyone!

Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of  the city and get another #*@&#^@*@& copy of my birth certificate to the  tune of $100.

Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the  same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require  planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the @&^*^%@%  government.

You’d rather have us running all over the place like chickens  with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it’s  really me in the damn picture – you know, the one
where we’re not allowed to  smile… Hey, you know why we can’t smile?

We’re totally pissed  off!

Signed

– An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I  wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family  has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the  military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the  ying yang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am – you  know, someone like my doctor……. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

And  you assholes want to run our health care  system?????

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