NIGHT WATCHMAN

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night.”
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?”
So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back.”
So they laid-off the night watchman.

NOW slowly, let it sink in.
Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter. Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY during the Carter administration?

Anybody?

Anything?
No?
Didn’t think so!
Bottom line is, we’ve spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency, the reason for which very few people who read this can remember!

Ready??

It was very simple… and at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate.
The Department of Energy was instituted on 8/04/1977, TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.

Hey, pretty efficient, huh???

AND NOW IT’S 2012 — 35 YEARS LATER — AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS “NECESSARY” DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. IT HAS 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES; AND LOOK AT THE JOB IT HAS DONE!

(THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY, “WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?”)
34 years ago 30% of our oil consumption was foreign imports. Today 70% of our oil consumption is foreign imports.

Ah, yes — good old Federal bureaucracy.

NOW, WE HAVE TURNED OVER THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT?

Hello!! Anybody Home?

Signed…. The Night Watchman

1) Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich
at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.

2) Only in America could people claim that the government still
discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President,
a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is
black. 12% of the population is black.

3) Only in America could we have had the two people most responsible
for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury
Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means
Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher
taxes.

4) Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of
Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims
might be harmed by the backlash.

5) Only in America would we make people who want to legally become
American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens
of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting
anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American
citizens.

6) Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the
budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as
“extremists.”

7) Only in America could you need to present a driver’s license to
cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

8) Only in America could people demand the government investigate
whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas
went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company
(Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes
(Nike).

9) Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from
the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion
dollars more than it has per year for total spending of $7 million PER
MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

10) Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income
taxes be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t
pay any income taxes at all.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And, as a bonus…

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that, on average, Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!

ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION  LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT

Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir:

I’m  in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How  is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I  bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal  Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For  Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?

My  birth date you have in my social security file. It’s on EVERY income tax form  I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It’s on my Medicare health insurance card and  my driver’s license, it’s  on the last eight damn passports I’ve had, it’s  on every stupid customs declaration form I’ve had to fill out before being  allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it’s on all those census forms  that we have to do at election times.

Would somebody please take note,  once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert  and I’m reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now  and when I die.

Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bureaucratic  bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for
my  #*&#%*& address.

What is going on? You must have a gang of  bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!

Look at my damn picture.  Do I look like Bin Laden? And “No,” I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for  shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would  someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a  farm in the next 15 days?

If I ever got the urge to do something weird to  a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell  anyone!

Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of  the city and get another #*@&#^@*@& copy of my birth certificate to the  tune of $100.

Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the  same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require  planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the @&^*^%@%  government.

You’d rather have us running all over the place like chickens  with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it’s  really me in the damn picture – you know, the one
where we’re not allowed to  smile… Hey, you know why we can’t smile?

We’re totally pissed  off!

Signed

– An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I  wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family  has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the  military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the  ying yang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am – you  know, someone like my doctor……. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

And  you assholes want to run our health care  system?????

Published on TheHill.com on March 13, 2012

Obama’s entire claim that the economy is reviving is based on phony numbers and rigged statistics. Nothing is more misleading than the recent administration claims that the economy added over 200,000 jobs during each of the past three months and that unemployment is stable at 8.3 percent.

Dr. John Hussman of the Hussman Fund says that the claims of job gains are based entirely on weighted figures. “Total non-farm employment in the U.S., before seasonal adjustments, fell by 2,689,000 jobs in January.” Then the spin doctors at the Bureau of Labor Statistics went to work. Hussman explains: “because it’s typical for the economy to lose a large number of jobs after the holidays, largely in retail trade, construction and manufacturing, the BLS estimated that the ‘normal’ seasonal decline in employment should have been 2,932,000 jobs in January. The difference between the two numbers … was 243,000 jobs, which was reported as an increase in employment.”

Hussman notes that this “adjustment” in 2011 and 2012 was far more extreme than in any previous year since the 1960s. Had the standard adjustment been used, instead of the souped-up figure BLS applied, the total number of new jobs created would be only about 60,000 for January.

And even that might be an overestimation.

Hussman points out that “moreover, we’ve had a remarkably mild winter in the U.S., particularly in January, and it’s clear that this has favorably affected both construction and retail activity. Ironically, however, nothing in the seasonal adjustment actually adjusts for this purely seasonal effect.”

The stable-unemployment-rate fantasy is also based on a steady decline in the number of people in the labor force, despite population increases. The current number of people in the labor force — the denominator in determining the unemployment rate — is the lowest since 1981. Economist Peter Morici writes that “if the adult participation rate [in the labor force] was the same today as when Obama became president, unemployment would be 11 percent.”

Morici also notes that “adding adults … who say they [would] re-enter the labor market if conditions improved and part-time workers who would prefer full-time positions, the unemployment rate becomes 15.2 percent. Factoring in college graduates in low skill positions, like counterwork at Starbucks … unemployment is closer to 20 percent.”

Such is the happy math upon which the administration bases its claims of economic recovery.

Gallup, which predicts election results with incredible accuracy, uses the same survey methodology to develop its own unemployment rate and now reports that it stands at 9.1 percent, a 0.6 percentage-point increase since last month.

Fortunately, the American people are using their own eyes, not Obama’s statistics, to figure out what is really going on. Obama’s approval ratings, as measured most accurately by Gallup and Rasmussen, show a drop from 51 percent a month or two ago to the low 40s now. And Rasmussen shows Romney beating Obama by 4 to 6 points. At 42 percent of the vote in the trial heat, the president is facing a crushing defeat, because the vast bulk of the undecided vote always goes against the incumbent.

With gas prices surging, the economic data will only get worse. The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) report on the economy predicts slow growth and higher unemployment in the near future, and Hussman says that “overall, an economic downturn remains the most likely prospect.”

The ability of my former Democratic brethren at self-deception is legendary, but the current optimism about both the economy and their chances of holding the White House and the Senate — and regaining the House?! — is downright nuts.

I recently asked my neighbors’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride.
“Wow…what a worthy goal,” I told her, “but you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”
I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world’s largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep i n mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature, i t is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it rightand it is broke.

b. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.

c. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

d. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; 1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the poor” and they only want more.

e. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.

f. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke!

g. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every “government service” you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM ??

Folks, keep this circulating.. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our “duly elected’ (they never read anything) and their staffs will clue them in on how Americans feel.
AND

I know what’s wrong. We have lost our minds to “Political Correctness” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please tell me what the HECK’S wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!

We’re “broke” & can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.??????????? In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey .. And Pakistan ……previous home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries! We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and mentally ill without treatment.

YET………………….They have a ‘Benefit’ for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries.

It’s time for major changes!

This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010

Put me in charge . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?

You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

The President ordered the cabinet to cut $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget.

I’m so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing with my personal budget. I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household expenses, medicine, utilities, etc., but it’s time to get out the budget cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.

I’m going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio, 1/35,000 of my total Budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2000 a month; I’m going to have to cut that number by – – six cents. Yes, I’m going to have to get by with $1999.94, but that’s what sacrifice is all about. I’ll just have to do without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries.

Patrick Michaels is a senior fellow in Environmental Studies at the Cato Institute and the editor of the forthcoming Climate Coup: Global Warming’s Invasion of our Government and our Lives, as well as the author of several other books on global warming.

His Forbes column on the Chevy VOLT is a case study in the nexus between big government corruption and big business rent-seeking.

Michaels briefly recaps the well-known consumer fraud in which GM has touted the VOLT as an all-electric mass production vehicle on the supposed basis of which its sales receive a $7, 500 taxpayer subsidy, which still renders it overpriced and unmarketable.

Michaels notes that “sales are anemic: 326 in December, 321 in January, and 281 in February.” There seems to be a trend here . . . Michaels adds that GM has announced a production run of 100, 000 in the first two years and asks what appears to be a rhetorical question: “Who is going to buy all these cars?” But wait! Keep hope alive! There is a positive answer to the question.

Jeffrey Immelt’s GE will buy a boatload of those uneconomic GM cars. Here the case study opens onto the inevitable political angle: Recently, President Obama selected General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt to chair his Economic Advisory Board.

GE is also awash in windmills waiting to be subsidized so they can provide unreliable, expensive power. Consequently, and soon after his appointment, Immelt announced that GE will buy 50, 000 VOLTs in the next two years, or half the total produced. Assuming the corporation qualifies for the same tax credit, we (you and
me) just shelled out $375,000,000 to a company to buy cars that no one else wants, so that GM will not tank and produce even more cars that no one wants. And this guy is the chair of Obama’s Economic Advisory Board?

But of course. Michaels includes this hilarious detail in his case study: In a telling attempt to preserve battery power, the heater is exceedingly weak. Consumer Reports their tests averaged a paltry 25 miles of electric-only running, in part because it was testing in cold Connecticut. (The [GM] engineer at the Auto Show said cold weather would have little effect.) It will be interesting to see what the range is on a hot, traffic-jammed summer day, when the air conditioner will really tax the batteries. When the gas engine came on, Consumer Reports got about 30 miles to the gallon of premium fuel; which, in terms of additional cost of high-test gas, drives the effective mileage closer to 27 mpg. A conventional Honda Accord, which seats 5 (instead of the VOLT’s 4), gets 34 mpg on the highway, and costs less than half of what CR paid, even with the tax break.

The story of the GM VOLT deserves a place in the Harvard Business School curriculum….but of course, it won’t. It’s a classic tale of the
GOVERNMENT deciding what the public needs, not the marketplace.

– What is one of the reasons for this? Why, to keep the UAW in business, because Obama owes them for his election. Starting to make sense yet?